Alan
Dumb yank animals…19.05.09
Dumb…
Dumber…
Sounds familiar…18.05.09
I’m sure i’ve seen this guy somewhere before…
It’s nearly Guido Amato’s Birthday…17.05.09
I was alerted to this fact when i logged on to facefuck today and i noticed this:
(i also noticed Simon Shinwell is a fan of Lilly Allen as well which disgusts me…)
So i clicked the ’send gift’ option with the thought that i would be able to give Michael a nice cute, ‘cookie’ novelty for his birthday:
HOWEVER, i was met with this !scandalous! window:
I’d like to round up all the people who have paid for one of these and exterminate them.
(PS. my apologies; i cant be arsed making these images better quality.)
“LOL!”17.05.09
Either this guy is a cunt, or, his name is ‘Lionel Orson Langian’.
LOL
Just weird stuff…14.05.09
I don’t know either….
Best defender in the world. Pooyol.14.05.09
Nick Amato is in the best shape of his life…14.05.09
Never Urinate on an Electric Fence…13.05.09
It’s perfectly safe to relieve oneself onto an electric fence. FALSE! It is not.
Charcoal
Crustiano Ronaldo: World Class……..gimp13.05.09
So, so satisfying.
ABM Rant: The Daily Record12.05.09
A while back, I stumbled upon the website of the ‘Daily Record’ a ‘newspaper’ that claims (WRONGLY) that it is ‘Best for Scottish News and Sport’. Maybe this paper is a very subtle ironic spoof comic type thing that has inadvertently fooled millions of Rangers fans, and working class people (actually that’s the same thing, sorry) across the country into buying it every day. And, in fairness its pages also a fashionable dashboard accessory for any self employed white Transit van driver. So, maybe that has something to do with its success. Regardless, I actually hope to FUCK, that one of these theories IS in fact the correct one.
If, however, it is in fact an actual ‘newspaper’, then I think it should be commended. Obviously by commended, I actually mean that the Daily Record building should along with everyone inside, even the tea-lady, should be burnt to the ground in the most horrific manner possible; even more horrific than Robert Mugabe. Or “Saw V”.
But why was I so furious at this all of a sudden? Well, after my aforementioned stumble, I thought I may as well catch up on the news headlines for the day (I’d been busy all day you see). The big bold ones with photos next to them, positioned prominently at the top caught my eye first; the most important ones:
“FURY OF RANGERS STAR’S FIANCEE AFTER THIEVES HIT COUPLES FLAT”
I must admit though, initially, I was fucking disgusted. However, I thought “Alan, it’s fine, it is a Glasgow paper and their flat was probably in Glasgow, and I suppose it’s a burglary which was probably quite frightening, so forget the global economic recession and impending doom sweeping the planet for a second…”. Still keen to catch up on some news before mum called me for dinner, I soldiered onto the next most important headline; the only other one with the big bold font and photo. It read:
“FUDGIE THE MISSING HAMSTER IS BACK AFTER NINE DAYS MISSING UNDER A FLOOR”
“Thank god!” I thought. “Thank god FUDGIE! Thank fuck FUDGIE the fucking hamster is OK! I’ve been so fucking sick with grief! The past fucking nine days have just been fucking awful! Oh god!”
At this point I was happy. Happy to staple my eyelids to a wall. I mentioned the economic situation earlier and you’re probably thinking (rightly so), ‘unbelievable, a newspaper with no headlines on the credit crunch!’. Well you’d be wrong! Because as I scanned down the smaller headlines below, desperately seeking some sanity, I came across just that; a headline about the financial crisis:
“RANGERS CHIEF DAVID MURRAY CALLS FOR CUT IN INTEREST RATES”
Brilliant.
In case you think i’m lying, here is the screenshot of the page:
Daily Rangers
